Comments for The Wandering Monster

Comment on On Suicide by dcb1016

dcb1016 — Sun, 01 Jul 2012 23:40:20 +0000

That’s awful! There is a very obvious & distinguishable line between unable & unwilling…gee whiz! I am so disgusted at the way they treated you, & to patronize you, in the state you were in! Oh, man! I’m a lot like you whereas I tend to lean more towards being quiet also…it often makes me cry! I wish there was something more I could do for you, but I know sometimes just having someone truly listen has the greatest impact! The acknowledgment goes a long way >>> thinking of you & sending you strength to see this through!

Comment on On Suicide by Kit Beard

Kit Beard — Fri, 22 Jun 2012 22:22:15 +0000

Because I’m scared that it will happen again, that makes it more likely that it will happen again. I genuinely made no noises in the phone call. And when I do manage to talk – like I did phoning the emergency number for my local nhs team – because I was struggling to speak, they thought I was struggling to think, and patronized me more than I have been before or since (and my mum’s a primary school teacher, so she’s practiced at patronization). I just no longer expect this to actually work for me. My current mental health nurse wrote a emergency plan (without consulting me) that basically comes down to “phone our emergency line” (I’m in a different area now, so it won’t be the same people). I have told him that I’m unable to speak when in distress, but he seems to confuse unable and unwilling. If he’s unaware of people being unable to speak while distressed, how common is it? I’m gonna write a piece in the next couple of days about interactions between anxiety, depression and autism, and my speech difficulties are gonna come up in that for sure.

Comment on On Suicide by dcb1016

dcb1016 — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 21:54:01 +0000

What? Have you actually been told you couldn’t call them in case it happens again? I can understand how it could initially come across as a hoax, but gee whiz I would think in their training & supposed empathy that this behavior/reaction is common, & that a good effort to reaffirm support should at least be made on their part. What a twisted dynamic though in the strength it takes to even make the call to a “resource” fall out from under you like that! Sorry – can you tell this lack of kindness & sensitivity gets to me :/

Comment on On Suicide by Kit Beard

Kit Beard — Mon, 18 Jun 2012 22:11:41 +0000

It wasn’t exactly a lack of conversation – I was completely silent. I couldn’t get me to make noise. I can understand why they’d think that was a hoax call, but I now can’t call them in case it happens again.

Comment on On Suicide by dcb1016

dcb1016 — Thu, 14 Jun 2012 19:02:35 +0000

No disrespect to GirlWithACane & I agree with a lot of what was said, but I too had a less than positive experience with the Samaratins at one time which certainly didn’t aid in the current situation. Given their mission, it sickens me that it’s obviously ”just a job” to some that they take so lightly. To hear they hung up on you for lack of conversation…good grief! Kudos Kit on ”knowing” & seeking out what calms/inspires you! That takes strength, don’t let anyone ever take that away from you : )

Comment on Fictional Days by seventhvoice

seventhvoice — Thu, 14 Jun 2012 12:51:38 +0000

Great post…. I can so relate…. I love ‘fictional days’…..

Comment on On Suicide by Kit Beard

Kit Beard — Thu, 14 Jun 2012 11:58:59 +0000

I honestly can’t remember. I just chose it when I made my blog.

Comment on On Suicide by site

site — Thu, 07 Jun 2012 17:40:31 +0000

I love your wordpress layout, where did you get a hold of it?

Comment on On Suicide by Kit Beard

Kit Beard — Thu, 17 May 2012 21:36:18 +0000

Many thanks. I’m on medication, and the closest to therapy the nhs is prepared to give me. I’ve phoned the samaritans before – they put the phone down on me as I couldn’t find the words to speak. When I’m feeling bad, I find concentrating on forming written sentences calms me down, though it does sometimes lead to distressing pieces like this.

Comment on On Suicide by GirlWithTheCane

GirlWithTheCane — Wed, 16 May 2012 17:16:15 +0000

I hope it’s okay to comment on something so personal. I realize that you don’t know me, and that I don’t know you, and that I have no idea what you’ve been through in your life to bring you to this place. But I’ve been suicidal myself, and known a lot of suicidal people, and I can tell you that most people really don’t want to die, no matter how much they feel like they do…they just want something that feels unbearable to stop – anger, sadness, pain, guilt, regret…any of these emotions. I *do* know what it’s like to feel something so intensely, and so unrelentingly, that the only way it feels like you can stop it is to kill yourself. But I also know what it’s like to come out on the other side of that, to feel like you can cope and to see reasons to stick around. It took some work with a therapist, and some medications to help regulate my moods, but I got there. You can get there too. You don’t have to keep feeling this way. Check out this website – it’s a crisis site for people who are suicidal and don’t feel like they can talk about it with anyone, and they’re all over the world: http://www.samaritans.org/. All the best to you.